Another World's Flower
by SilverSnowLight
Summary: In this new world that Kiran finds herself in is not so different from her. Yet there is one thing that it doesn't have that she unfortunately must face. The Hanahaki disease, gradern of love, a painful death. And how fortunate for her to have it when this world knows nothing about the flowers that grow inside you. Hanahaki AU/KiranFem


**In this story it is Kiran'w world that is exposed to the Hanahaki Disease while the Fire Emblen worlds don't know such disease. You can see where this goes.**

~*~

At first it was just a gaze.

Recently after being rescued by Alfonse, he would check up on her. It wasn't noticeably so, just a passing of each other or she would see his cape disappearing around the corner. Just small signs that she noticed.

Then they were sent to the World of Shadows by the guards saying that they've seen Embla soldiers going through the portal. Gathering up 12 heroes to take with her, including the royal siblings and the commander, they crossed the portal to save the heroes from their contracts. It was a bit difficult trying to fight against an army that main mostly in magic. But thankfully they have mages and archers of their own to balance out the magic attacks aiming for their short distances fighters.

At one point she must have failed to check around her surroundings to see if she was far enough from the fight because the next thing she knew a lance stabbed at the empty space she was once was if it wasn't for the Prince of Askran who pushed her away. Disadvantage or not, he struck the lance user in one hit as the enemy laid dead before her.

She almost died. She was about to die.

But Alfonse saved her again.

He asked if she was ok, if she was hurt anywhere. When she shook her head no he told her to be more careful and that she should stay with him until the battle ends.

And that she did.

After bidding farewell to Celica and her army from breaking their contracts and finding out that Prince Bruno was the one to kill Zacharias was when the changes began. Alfonse would talk to her more, not the usually tactician talk but a fairly normal number of conversations. He would linger around her during battles even when she would tell him to go to the frontlines. And when he told her that he was still trying to keep a distance from forming any type of relationship with the heros and would stop building a barrier around himself did a funny fluttering tickled her stomach.

Maybe it was from the information that Bruno might have killed Zacharias. Maybe it was from her near death from Embla's princess. Maybe it was because he felt the most comfortable with her because they soon started to seek each other present, slowly becoming friends than allies in the battle field.

The heros notice the change but made no comment about it. After all, Alfonse was also trying to get along with them as well. It just so happens that they have a stronger bond than the rest.

She didn't think she would become in like with him, much less crush on him.

She didn't realize this until June came around. Told by Sharena, June was the month of the Cultural Arts festival where they have a whole week celebrating the arts and the new founds of love everyday. It just so happens that the last day of that week was Bridals day, the day where many couples exchange vows for one another.

It was fun, Kiran had only went to two weddings before. But to see a whole day dedicated to seeing loved ones tie the knot was beautiful, and in Sharena's words, romantic.

When it was time to catch the boutiques from the brides she was talking with Alfonse about the festival and comparing traditions about weddings in her world. She didn't notice the array of flowers till their conversation was cut short with Alfonse catching a bouquet of white primroses much to his surprise. That was when Sharena decide to show up with Commander Anna, another boutique of soft pale pink roses in her hands. It took the princess two seconds to see her brother with the flowers, how he was facing her, and how close they were that she squealed at the same time the prince paled.

Teasing her brother about his blessed wedding and if he was going to tell her about their relationship did her stomach tickled again. It intensified when Alfonse denied her claim with cheeks red from his sisters teasing, desperately trying to make her stop as Anna watched in amusement.

She never notice how beautiful Alfonse eyes were. They were like the deep ocean, blue sapphires that glitter when he was excited at times. How his hair looked so soft and silky when the wind blows. How the sun always made the tints of gold in his hair shine when hit just right. His smile was a treasure, with soft pretty pale pink li-

She didn't understand, why would she think this way about Askran's prince.

That night she tossed and turned, trying to understand why would her mind think all those thoughts about him. She pressed far deep into her mind, further and further until the only answer she got was a headache. Finally, with her head pounding and eyes dripping with exhaustion did she decided to let her eyes close...only for them to snap back open with realisation.

She liked the prince, she was in liking with Alfonse.

But she can't, he is a prince, the prince. He is the heir to the throne, Askran's future king and protector. He is this worlds hero. He is the one that she swore to serve as a resident in this world.

But didn't many of the other royals from other world marry those they love? Didn't he just said during the festival that he and Sharena were not forced to marry into an arranged marriage? Doesn't that mean she has a chance?

With one answer came many questions. Unable to take them any more, she decided to think about it in the morning.

That night she slept with a tickle in her throat.

She was confused by this, when did she started to like the prince? Was it at first sight like all those cheesy romantic novels? Or was it when he started to become her friend like in the movies? When she started to like him she had no clue. But after figuring this out, she became more aware of him then ever.

She noticed that he is touchy, not noticeably so but he would always seek little bits of contact. Like a brush of the shoulders when ever they pass or a tap on the hand when he wanted to get her attention. He would always seem to be touching her one way or another.

He would hold himself in the library if he could. He reads mainly books about past worlds and history but is always so eager to hear Kiran out when she talks about her world. He was always looking for new bits of knowledge to store away.

Sometimes when she catches him napping in the gardens she found out that he would make a cute little noise that was a cross between a snore and hum. She would always laugh to herself before she walks away, afraid someone would catch her staring.

It was then that she knew she had it bad.

Trying to steady her thoughts about the prince, she avoided him as much as possible without making it obvious. She would cut off conversations to 'do something she forgot' or would simply wave at him when passing but wouldn't stop to let him speak a word out. It hurts her every time she sees the confusion in his eyes as he watches her leave or turns him down. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she just couldn't have him around her for the time being. She needs to sort out her feelings first before she does something she would regret.

But as she did, the tickle in her throat started to linger more often. So much so that she would go for days with the sensation before it stuck permanently.

Maybe she should see a Healer soon. But it wasn't bothering her that much so maybe some honey tea will work.

Months passed, the battle with Emblian seem to stop with the defeat and the truth about everything from Prince Bruno. During that time she managed to control her thoughts about the prince and her new found (newly released?) feelings for him, affecting her to slowly come back to hang out with Alfonse regularly. In turn, she managed to came up with her answer.

She liked him before but now she is sure that she loves him. She can no longer deny that.

But what about Alfonse himself? What does he think of her? Was she a friend or someone who could be more? Did he felt the way she felt about him or was it strictly friendship between the two?

But whatever his answer is she would not tell him she is in love with him. She knows her boundaries.

She was meant to leave, she doesn't belong here. If she told him about her feelings then the chances for him to reject her and maybe ruin what they have were to high for her to mess with. And even if he said he felt the same, she was destined to leave back to her world. Leaving Alfonse more broken then if he rejected her and guilt trip himself. In the end, saying nothing was the best choice for both of them.

So she watched him from afar. Pleading to the gods above to help her keep their friendship intact and that she wouldn't screw it by mistake. She give thanks to the gods when Alfonse never sees her gaze linger. She would bless the gods when some heroes like Lissa came close to figuring out her attractions to the prince but would always somehow miss their mark.

It was when they met Fjorm that she started to curse them all.

She didn't hate Fjorm. Nor did she hates the way she manages to make friends with him faster than her. She didn't hated how the wind would carry her hair at times making her look like an enchantress. She didn't hate how naturally kind she was and how everyone seemed to be drawn to her.

No, she hated how Fjorm made her feel such an ugly emotion like jealousy rush through her every time Alfonse's eye lay on her.

She couldn't help but feel he was happier with Fjorm then he ever was her. His laugh seemed to be more genuine. His gaze always seeming to search her out. Talking and walking by her side.

Everything she always wanted with him.

But it's selfish, disgusting really. She chose to watch from afar and decided not to come in contact with her feelings with him. Even if her decision hurts she just has to bear it all. She has to.

But then the tickle in her throat acted again, only in a much more different way.

She was with Sharena when it happened. They were having a small break from escaping Laevatein by playing in the snow rolling snowballs and challenge each other to see who could make the biggest between the two.

She was laughing at how Sharena fell face down in to her giant snowball when a sudden burn escalated in her throat. She laughter quickly became a cough as she tried to get the burning from her throat out, placing a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. Thankfully at the time she didn't cough more the five times before the fire in her throat subsided. She hoped that Sharena haven't heard her but was proven wrong when the blonde haired girl came rushing towards her with concern in her eyes asking what was wrong.

Moving her hand away from her mouth, Kiran said it was from the cold air. Saying that she must have swallowed to quickly making her throat burn a bit from the sudden contact.

Thankfully the princess brought it as she brightened up immediately stating how the same thing happens to her at times when she was in the cold. Suggesting that they should grab a drink to help her dry throat the princess skipped away to gather their beverages before Kiran.

As soon as she knew that the princess was far enough Kiran opened her palm to see a soft light blue petal staring at her.

Her heart sank.

She knew what it meant.

She knew all about the Hanahaki disease. How it claims those in deep love. How it would grow the flower of their love in the hearts of those in lovers chains. How many people died from keeping those feelings a secret. How others die by taking their love away.

She use to watch one of her friends go through this before. Everyday she would rub her friend's back whenever she vomited her flaming orange-red tulips everywhere. She would cry and cry, saying how she couldn't tell him how she felt when he was in love with someone else. She cried her way to the hospital where they 'healed' her of her love. She could never forget the lifeless look in her eyes when she visited her after the operation.

She never wanted to end up like that.

So that's why she tucked the petal in the pocket of her coat as she left to follow the princess.

The burning in her throat gradually grew more and more painful everyday. It became difficult trying to talk with a mouth full of petals or leaves casually to dispose of the flower parts. She started to suspect that some of the heroes knew she was injured in some way. One time she even had Priscilla heal her, only to have the pain subsided for an hour or so. She knew that she couldn't keep this up for long, but as long as he never knows then she would endure it.

But the gods were cruel to her, probably even mocking her when not a week later did disaster strike.

It was when Alfonse mange to confront Loki who was pretending to be Ylgr. Loki just barely shifted back to her original(?) body, facing the royal siblings of both Askran and Nifl. Loki opened her mouth to speak (probably to congratulate them in her own way of figuring it out) when her throat catch fire. It wasn't the normal burn she was used to but a full on fire storm whirling inside her. Both the pain and the shock of the agonizing fire within her caused her to instantly grab her throat as she gagged.

Before she knew it, she was on her knees, hunched over in a coughing fit as whole sized blood cover moon flowers rushed out of her system. Sharena, Fjorm, and Alfonse came to her side while Anna and Hríd stood in front of her in a protective stance from Loki, each with different expressions. Sharena looked terrified by the amount of blood she was vomiting while Fjorm trying to help her stop by rubbing her back with shaky fingers. Anna was concentrated at Loki with occasional glances to see if she was alright. Hríd was stone cold glaring daggers at Loki, probably from impersonating Ylgr. Alfonse was drop dead horrified by the scene before also glaring angrily at Loki.

They probably all think that Loki did something to her. That she was the one to cause her this pain. That she cast a spell on her. But instead of stopping them or telling them to continue on integrating her, she was puking out blood covered flowers with tears running down her cheeks.

She couldn't remember what happened, everything was a blur and could only catch bits and pieces of what's going on. She managed to stop herself after some time, gasping for air as she felt being carried away as soon as she was done.

By the time they got back to the camp, she was too tired to stay up any longer and passed out.

When she woke up, everything felt hazy, her body was unusually heavy, and her throat was unbearably dry. At first, nothing came to her. Then it all hit her.

Where was Loki? What had happened while she was vomiting? Who had carried her back? What would happen to her? Would they be mad? How much time does she have left if she was now in stage 4- full flowers? Are they disguised?

She didn't want anyone to see her, she didn't want anyone to look at the mess she became.

Without thinking, she tried to lift herself off the bed to leave the tent and go somewhere, anywhere, where no one would find her.

But because of the toll on her body was still too great for her to handle, she went crashing down to the floor with a thud. She hissed from the impact, unconsciously holding the arm that took the blow from her fall with her dear life.

It wasn't long before the flaps were open with a panicked "Kiran!" called her.

It turned out to be the last person she wanted to see at that moment.

Alfonse, Sharena, Fjorm, Priscilla, and Lucius all came in with the sight of her on the floor, clutching her body in pain. It took less than a second for both Alfonse and Fjorm to gather her up and place her on the bed once again. She tried to protest by sitting up again but was pushed immediately back down by the royals. When she gave in, knowing that she was not going to win, both Priscilla and Lucius came to her side and used their staffs to erase any pain she felt.

She embraced the glowing light from the blue stones. Gently, the pain that was from her arm lifted, as well as numbness from her body, her bloodshot eyes, and some bruise around her throat that she didn't know she had. When both lights faded out, chaos broke in.

Sharena was crying and clinging on the right side of her bed, telling her how worried she was and how scared she was when she saw all the blood. Fjorm was fidgeting over her, placing a hand over her forehead, asking if she was to cold or warm (she felt normal). Alfonse was the most demanding, asking why she would do this to herself, why didn't she come to them when she had gotten sick, and why didn't she trust them enough for them to heal her.

She should have been stronger, she should have been more prepared. But the fact that they were all trying to help her, desperately trying to keep her alive broke the dam of all the stress and pain she went through ever since she found that first petal.

She cried as the royals stopped in shock over her change of emotions, she cried as she felt the gentle hug from the ice princess embrace her, she cried as the Askran siblings shared looks of worry between each other before they both join in hugging her, she cried and cried till there were no more tears to shed anymore.

Sniffing, she looked down in shame. She was weak, she was pathetic. How could she be called the Great Hero if she was unable to hold herself together when interrogated by three people. She was so useless.

"Kiran," she could hear the prince start. "Why did you hide this?"

She wanted to cry again. His voice sounded so betrayed and hurt and so sorrowful and broken that she wanted to break down crying. But she has to tell them, she can't pretend anymore.

So besides her mind screaming that she shouldn't tell them her mouth betrayed her thoughts. She told them about the disease. How she grew up knowing others who went through the same thing, how she was surprised when she found out her first petal, how it has gotten worse and worse with days without end. She told them about how they use to treat the disease, how it was possible that one can die or survive from the disease with two oppositions.

The medical treatment and the choice of accepting her death.

She did not tell them what causes the disease, nor did she tell them how if the feelings of the other was shared back then she would also survive, or the part where she would lose her feelings of love if she ever did survive.

She couldn't tell them knowing that could lead her crying in front of Alfonse.

She just couldn't.

When the Askran princess asked how they do the treatment, she only gave them the half truth. That they use to make a medicine of herbs and gave them to their patients. From there, the herbs will push the garden that they have out their throats before pulling them out by hand. But what a coincidence that she only knew parts of the medicine that is needed for the process.

A coincidence indeed.

When she saw the hope on the princesses face she wanted to throw herself into the cold and freeze herself to death. She wanted to gut herself when the princess yelled excitedly that they have those herbs and if they can make the medicine by testing others they might get the treatment she needed. She wanted to burn alive when Fjorm also excitedly said she would help, saying she had a chance after all and that there's still hope.

She wanted to wither away when she saw the hopefulness in Alfonse eyes.

She did not deserve their happiness, because she knew that she would die either way. The herbs were just plants she thought at the top of her head. She had made their lives more miserable by giving them a false hope of keeping her alive.

So to avoid her emotions getting the best of her she told them that she needed some sleep. "My body feeling numb," she said. Sad, they all walk out with wishes to get well and promises to keep her safe.

She wanted to break so bad but Alfonse stopped before leaving the tent and turned to her with the most bittersweet expression that she bite her tongue from screaming that she was lying and that she was sorry.

But it was his words that hit home.

"I will help you Kiran, to the end of my days I will make sure that you will stay alive right next to me."

She couldn't breath. Couldn't move. Couldn't say anything as he left the tent before she muffled her crying in her pillow.

Screaming, crying, tearing, breaking. She did it all before she felt the familiar feeling of petals rushing through her throat before she vomited them all out on her bed sheets.

She watched the light blue petals of moon flowers. How they seem to still glow even when they were covered in blood. Even when they were reason she was miserable. Even when it was the sign of her death coming to a close.

So she sat there, staring at the spot on the bed sheets that was drenched in crimson and full bloom flowers.

But she should be here, crying and guilt tripping herself when they were still in the battlefield, still at war. Seeing that about how she made the decision to stay quiet, how they still had a war to fight, how that she is one death they will not be able to stop, she should be doing something other the crying. She may not be able to stop her own death but she can stop the deaths of her heroes, her army, and her friends all one in the same.

She had no time to pity herself when she still had lives on her hands.

All night she spent awake making up new strategies, updating supplies and what each person would do. She made tips on what medicine to use on certain people and assigned other with partners in the field. She made a list of who should always group together and who would stay off the main line of sight and into the shadows of battle. Even when she had Soran and Morgan on hand, she couldn't stomach the thought of her doing nothing when she knew she still had the energy to do something for her army.

So there she sat on the floor, writing all of her ideas down before Priscilla came and found the sight her room was. I mean how else is one to act when the patient your suppose to take care of is awake with dark circles under her eyes and a bed full of blood.

So with a heavy heart, she let Priscilla get her a change of clothes (the ones she wore had blood on them now that she noticed), cleaned her up and made she sleeps with a newly clean bed. Before she went she made sure Priscilla promise to give this to Alfonse and to make sure that Soren and Morgan will replace her for the time being.

After all, she knew if she even dared tried to take even one step out of her tent then hell will break loose.

After Priscilla promised, she laid her head on the bed. It took her three hours before she could sleep.

Time went on, her disease did not shorten at all. She was still bed ridden as most will make her lay down or sit before fussing over her. Honestly she wishes she could snap at them, telling them that she doesn't need to be treated like a china doll. But she couldn't exactly say they were in the wrong either. Besides, she didn't want to upset them more than she had.

King Surtr was pronounced death when Prince Hríd killed him in the throne room. What was supposed to be a feeling of joy was only a feeling of numbness and tired limbs as everyone made peace with one another. Both the kingdoms of Nifl and Múspell, with the future rulers Prince Hríd and Princess Laevatein, have made peace with each other and will both be off to rebuild their respective kingdoms.

Princess Veronica didn't do anything, as bad as it sounds to accuse her, it's a bit weird how she had not made a move on them afterwards.

Maybe it was the adrenalin but she decided to walk up to the Embla princess.

"Princess," she paused. "Are you alright?"

Her red eyes looked at her as if she were crazy. After a moment of silence she replied. "I suppose so Great Hero."

She hated that, 'Great Hero', she doesn't deserve that title when she didn't even fought alongside her heroes.

"Kiran is fine."

There was a pause.

"Kiran," her lips tested. "Why are you here?"

She was confused by this. "Why wouldn't I be with my comrades?"

"No, why did you choose to come to me?"

"Oh."

She honestly didn't know why she did so. She blamed it on the adrenaline but maybe there's more to it than that.

Maybe it's because she is going to die? Was she here to leave the princess on good terms? Or to insure that she wouldn't harm the royal siblings?

"To be honest, I don't really know myself. I just hope to see you one more time I guess?"

The princess just looked at her, something flashed in her eyes before understanding replaced it. There was something almost like pride when she saw her now. She wasn't acting all high and mighty like she did when they first meet, when she was their opponent. Instead of a princess she felt like she was standing in front of a queen. It was strange yet it fits her, the image that betrayed at that moment felt like it suited her more then the role of princess.

The princess didn't do anything for awhile, taking her in. The action kind of reminded her of how Alfonse or Gunnthrá would act. An act of a true ruler. A true queen. "How long?"

She didn't want to answer her, but it was something about her voice that made her speak anyways. Demanding yet pleading. Soft but firm. Strange yet so right. "Soon."

And soon will come. They left Múspell and sailed to Askran in time. Villages celebrated and welcome their return, throwing flowers and candy as they walk through. She wasn't all that excited to celebrate but she was at least thankful for the flowers in the air because it was much easier masking her own when she coughed, hiding them from both the villagers and her comrades.

The mood for celebration was lifted as soon as they closed the doors in the castle. Ordered by their commander, every hero that she summoned all met up in the throne room to hear an announcement.

She could already tell what this was about as soon as Anna caught her eye.

The secret was out the moment she walked in. Anna explained to everyone what was happening to her and that they might still have a way to save her. This news was received with grief, sadness, and determination for those who want to help her survive.

She knew it was a waste of time. She was the only one who wasn't bothered by her death anymore. She had accepted it a long time ago. When? She did not know. But it was certain she was going to die.

A week went by after coming back from the castle. During that week some heroes have paired up in groups and were searching all over Askran for some medical herbs with those with pegasus traveling overseas.

Again that feeling of guilt ate her as she sat near the window of her room. Currently she was making plans and leaving instructions on what to do after her passing. She may be as good as dead but the least she could do was leave everything in balance then in shambles.

She was just writing down possible pair ups when she heard a knock on her door. Confused but not overly surprised, she places down her quill and open the door to see who was at the other side.

It was Anna.

She suddenly didn't feel so good.

After offering for the commander to come and take a seat, she didn't even get to ask what she was doing here before the redhead girl beat her to it.

"There is no cure is there."

She froze. Her first reaction to this was to deny it. Saying that she did know there was a cure for her and that she was fine but the look in her eyes made her bite her tongue.

She couldn't say anything. It was beyond humiliating and very unfair. She tried so hard to hide her sickness only to be found out in a couple of weeks. Now here in her room, Anna had figured her out that she knew that she was off to death.

She was beyond unbelievably frustrated that it hurts.

It hurts.

Her throat was hurting.

She vomited inside a bucket that one of maids helpfully provided for her. She wasn't so keen on have blood on the floor now a days.

While she vomited she felt a gentle pressure on her back. Anna's hand was rubbing her, tracing smoothing circles and the taste of metal flooded her mouth.

Again they found themselves sitting on a chair, opposite to each other after ten minutes of cleaning and coughing.

She honestly didn't feel indifferent to the sight of moon flowers anymore. So that's why she didn't react to Anna holding one of her flowers by the stem as she played with the petals.

"Kiran. Why did you lie?"

She hoped she had forgotten about her earlier statement but that doesn't seem to be the point here.

The only thing to do was tell the truth.

"I'm going to die Anna," she said the commander's name out loud for the first time. "In this world, there is no cure for me. Even if we open a portal to my world I would refuse to get the treatment to survive anyways."

"Why?"

Why? Why would she not want to keep on living? Why would she want to live on in exchange for her love? Why would she not survive with the lack of love in her heart?

Why indeed.

"Because."

"That's not an answer Kiran," Anna sighed as she placed her cheek on the hand that was not holding the flower. Using the flower to point at her she narrowed her eyes. "I'm a sales woman Kiran. I can tell when someone lies. Sounds to me you didn't tell Sharena and Alfonse the whole truth."

"What's the point if I do or don't?"

"The point is that your not lying to them at your deathbed."

That made her pause.

"Would you really die knowing you left Alfonse and Sharena guilty for not saving you when they think they still had a chance to cure you."

Oh…

Oh.

Oh no.

That wasn't what she wanted. That wasn't…

"No! That's not what I-"

"Then tell the truth. At least tell me the truth Kiran."

Should she tell her? Should she tell her the truth about her love? Should she say it?

Maybe she should...the secret of saying nothing was too much to bare.

And Anna wasn't such a bad choose in saying so.

So she told her. She told her about the real reason she had gotten the Hanahaki disease. How it works and how the people of the world were given three choices to 'cure' themselves. How so many chose to die instead of breaking themselves. How each flower is different for each person and how it represents who they love.

She felt much lighter now.

Anna listened to her as she explained. The cures, the reason, the stages, deaths, and the reason she kept it a secret till now. She didn't say anything until she stopped explaining.

"It's Alfonse right."

Should she deny it? No ...if she is going to be truthful then she has to tell her.

Playing with a strand of hair she looked down at her lap. "I didn't mean to...I honestly didn't know how or why but yes…."

Anna hummed with a sort of emotion that she couldn't quite place. Pity? It wasn't that. Sadness? There's a trace of it but that's not the right word. Acceptance? Wrong.

So what was it?

They made little conversation after that, letting the silents linger as they sat there lost in thoughts. When Anna got up to excuse herself she stopped her before she touched the handle.

"Please don't tell them."

_'Please don't tell him'_

She looked like she wanted to say something, but instead she bit her lip before opening them again. "You should tell him Kiran. I don't think he would forgive himself if he knew that he was the reason you fell."

She frowned. Why was she so stubborn?

"You know I can't."

"You can," she said confidently. "And you will. Don't think of the 'what ifs' and regret it later on."

With that she left her with a room of shadows and a mind full of regrets.

Days went by. More flowers and more blood. More check ups with the healers and more worried looks from her friends. More days with comforting gestures and more quick trips to look for the right medicine.

More days that she had to go through watching the pain in their eyes grow.

Especially Alfonse.

Why did she have to love him? Of all the people she could have love she had to love him. Why was it that her heart had to be taken by a prince with deep blue hair with gold tips? Why did it had to be a prince with a fascination with books and other worlds history? Why did it had to be a boy who had the smile of a child and the eyes of the moon? Why did she have to love him?

She didn't have these many thoughts before. But after that talk with Anna something had hit a nerve with her, making her second guesses and questioning herself more than before.

Whether it was from the stress of thinking too much or the disease itself she would never know. But what she did know was that her legs gave out from underneath her as her vision turned black once more.

She woke up by the sound of sniffing. Not wanting to open up her eyes she continued to listen, trying to map out who was making that sound.

As she listened, she realised it wasn't sniffing but a quiet sob. It was heartbreaking to hear something like that. During the sobbing she also found out that someone was holding on to her hand, it was soft as it gripped onto her hand gently. Such a gentle touch that she almost felt pain when they brought it up with their hand with the soft sensation of lips pressing on her knuckles.

The kiss, it was soft and sweet with gentleness that she was never exposed to. But the kiss itself felt like something of longing mix with a bit of sadness and something more.

It was a kiss goodbye.

Someone was kissing her goodbye.

For some reason she didn't want that to happen. Not at all.

So she gasped her warning that she was waking up.

They still didn't let go of her hand as they gave a gasp of their own.

"Kiran?"

She froze. She knew who that was. The one that whispered her name. The one who was sobbing at her side.

The one to kiss her goodbye.

She whimpered.

"Gods...Kiran are you awake? Kiran? Kiran!"

She opened her eyes but immediately regretted it. The room was spinning and the light was bright from her eyes to take. All too sudden she felt an oh so familiar pain as she shut her eyes tight.

"Gods, wait right here. I'll go for Lissa."

She didn't try to object, the pain was just to great for her to bare. Her chest felt heavy and her throat felt like someone was squeezing it shut. Her body felt numb as she gasped for air. This was the final stage, the stage in one is to weak that they are bedridden. The final stage till ones is entering death's door.

Gods, she truly is a fool.

A fool in love that is. Oh the irony of it all.

She didn't hear the doors open or the sound of a panicked voice, all she could focus on was the sudden warmth wrapping around her body as breathing became easier and easier till the pain was also gone. She knew it wasn't going to be gone for long but she thanked the gods that was over.

With her mind no longer focusing on surviving she opened her eyes to be in relief when the room was solid still. Trying to test out her body to make sure all was still in order she slides her hand over her chest and proceed to raise it above her face. She didn't smile but her eyes were as she managed to wiggle her fingers in front of her. Maybe with the magic in this world she might stay longer than she had originally thought. It may not stop the process but it sure as hell will slow it down a bit.

While testing her limits, she didn't bother to hear in what the two others in the room with her were discussing. Slowly the talking has dim down a bit with the silent click of the door closing behind someone. Still she refuses to listen or look anywhere but her fingers before a hand clamped over her own.

Strange, she has never seen him without his gloves before. Now all she could do was stare at his fingers intertwined with hers. She's going to miss that sight.

"Kiran."

No she refuses to look at him. She will not look at him. She begs and begs that she wouldn't get even a glimpse of his face if she could have the power to do so. And unfortunately she was still too weak against her own emotions.

"Kiran please.."

Gods damn you all!

"...yes Alfonse?"

The hand over her own tightened.

"Why ...?"

Why what? Why was she dying? Why was at death's door? Why was she going to leave them all alone? Why she was lying? Why was she selfish? Why why why why why?

Why….

Why was she so weak….

Moving her eyes away from their joined hands she risked a glance at his face.

Only for her to feel another kind of pain her her chest.

His eyes that held so much light and life in them, they seemed dead, almost hollow with nothing inside of them. Even with the room bright the light of it couldn't reach his eyes. The dark circles underneath them made him look too grim, too exhausted. The color of his hair, dull. The rosy tint in his cheeks were paled in comparison from the last time she saw him. And his smile that she always had the pleasure to witness was no longer there, a deep sorrowfully frown sat in place.

She...she did that didn't she?

She...she….she….

She still needed to answer him.

"...why what?"

But she still can't.

"Your dying."

I know that. Everyone knows that.

"You said you knew how to cure yourself."

I didn't lie about that. I didn't lie about that.

"Anna told me."

A pause.

...wha-

"Why didn't you tell me!"

His voice... It was angry. So very angry at her for lying, for accepting death, from holding back everything from him so that he would never know.

But she guessed it was all for nothing wasn't it.

His grip on her hand was painful yet she said nothing. She deserves it.

"I deserve it."

Yes, she did this to them. It was her fault for lying, for giving them all false hope and joy when she knew it was never going to happen. For falling in love when he could never return her feeli-

"No you don't," Alfonse all but shouted. His eyes were misting again when the hand that held held hers cupped it with his other free hand and pulled it to his face. She could feel them growing wet as he was crying again.

"You never did, you never did. Why Kiran," he sobbed. "We- I could have helped you I wanted you to stay here. Please stay with me. Please don't go."

This man, no, this boy was crying for her. He wanted her to stay with him. He wanted her to stay with him. He wanted her by his side.

She didn't realise she was crying as well, to concentrate on the person of heraffaction begging her to stay. She has to do something. She has to help him.

She has to tell him.

"Alfonse…"

Through his tears he looked down at her.

Waiting.

Griefing.

Longing.

Loving.

"I-"

Her breath caught in her throat.

And petals started to fly.

Burn,_ burn, **burning!**_

Her chest was on fire, her throat so very tight, her whole body was being crushed by something.

Everything was on fire, _fire,_ **_fire!_**

"Kiran!"

Then darkness.

Was… was she dead?

There's nothing here…

She wonders why…

So dark… so sleepy…

She closed her eyes in the darkness…

"...a…."

Hmm?

"...i...n.."

Was there something out there?

"...ir...n…"

What was that?

"Kir…..n…."

It seems familiar….

"Kiran!"

She opened her eyes.

Only to see those of the person she loves.

Her brain was to slow, not understanding what was going on or why he was hovering over her, so she did not even blink when he hugged her to his chest. She could vaguely feel the wrath of his embrace and the water that was on her shoulders, but all she could do was look at the pain she felt. Or the lack of it.

She felt no pain, her chest did not feel heavy or her heart waiting to burst. Her throat isn't burning and her body did not feel numb.

All she could do, all she could feel the wrath of the embrace that Alfonse gave her.

She was alive… she was alive. How?

"Kiran, I'm so sorry. I love you. Please don't leave me"

That's how. That's how she's alive.

He loves her, just like how she loves him.

But she shouldn't be doing this, she should-

….

It doesn't matter does it. He's here, he's here with her. He was hugging, crying for here, holding her.

Loving her.

He loves her.

He loves her, he loves her, he loves her.

And she loves him, no matter what she will always love him.

And in that momnet, she didn't care about the past experience of hollow eyes or the future that is sure to be diffcult to overcome. All she cared about was that she was in his arms, with the three words she had always hoped for him to say driffting in the air.

"I love you Alfonse."

I will always love you.

"Thank you."

Thank you for saving me.


End file.
